I can't take credit for this but I found the following in the archives, which fixes my problem with flexbackup:
"I'm still testing but I think I've found a solution, in the file cron.d I've added a line in between the line that the console makes when you enable tape backup.
The line I've added is the following:
15 19 * * * root flexbackup -newtape
This erases the tape and makes a new index on the tape the reminder message is sent at 19.10 and the backup starts at 19.20.
I didn't set the option erase_rewind_only false according to the flexbackup-howto because the line I've added takes care of this.
My test server made two succesfull backups on different dates, and I'm waiting for the third to start, I'll let you know how this topic will end."
This was great until I restored from backup, then the /etc/cron.d/backup file reverted to the original and it all came undone again.