OK, the above problem was solved by reconfiguring my server. Thanks to Charlie for giving me some leads.
(Background for people finding this via a search:
I had eth1 configured to make a private network connection to the ADSL router on 10.0.0.0/24, whilst eth0 was connected to the 192.168.0.0/16 LAN. I then used a pptp connection for ADSL, which had the drawback that the routing wouldn't come up properly after losing the connection/rebooting the box, so a manual step was in order.
Therefor, and after trying PPPOE and failing to get it to work, I reconfigured the router to do the NAT itself and put it on the same private IP range, with a port forward on all ports to the SME machine (configured as server only). This works.
If you can't use this configuration (possibly because you have a 'dumb' ADSL modem that can't be reconfigured) your best bet is to go with the PPPOE, which failed for me. This is also probably the more secure option.)