Not fast, just happened to check email.

Ok, I am not understanding your setup, I see it as adsl>router>sme>localnetwork? Better yet, what is the path that a client would follow to access the Internet?
Is it just 1 external IP for the entire internal network or does each internal network have it's own external IP?
If you add the relay host entry in /var/qmail/control/rcpthost file when you restart SME will re-write it back to it's original setting, thats why you need to find the custom rcpthost file or create one in the templates directory.
The syntax for the rcpthost file should be :192.168.0 and I believe that is all you would need.
Help me to understand a little better and I will see if I can help you more,
Jon