amir,
Your problem does not sound like it is an SME issue, but rather an Outlook/Exchange issue. I have not had any issues as you have experienced.
Couple of possible ideas to look into:
1. I use Exchange as the SMTP outbound server. Works very well, no issues to report. You may wish to try that.
2. Check your Outlook user profile. If you are not using Exchange, then it should not connect to the Exchange Server (i.e. email client mode rather than Corporate mode). It sounds like the Outlook Client is defaulting to the Exchange Server for replies, forwards. What has me puzzled is that you say it only happens sometimes.
3. I am presuming you are using Outlook 2003 or so, not Outlook Express.
4. You could have a look at the site
http://www.slipstick.com That site has a lot to offer for Outlook / Exchange issues.