ooooookkkkkkayyyy....
So, this only leaves the question " are you using 51/ip AH, or not." The information is still confusing on this point.
I found one doc, dated sometime in 2000, stating that NAT/IPSec problems were "being fixed" --- so it would seem that two years later it could be fixed. Then, the Linux IPSec Masq FAQ states clearly that 51/ip still does not work. I'm inclined to believe this, but I see a lot of mixed info.
At any rate, I'm glad you got it to work. I have an SME gateway that my wife goes thru, using SecureRemote --- but it does not use 51/ip, only 50/ip and 500/udp. When she got a laptop, it brought up the need for a second passthru connection, but the SME box could not be forced to do that --- so I have another Linux box she uses as a gateway for the second connection.
Would it be possible to put tcpdump on your SME box, and see if it is passing 51/ip, or just 50/ip? That would be useful information.
Dan