Hi Amy,
If you only just got the server-manager working, you probably don't know about using a secure shell (SSH) to administer your SME from a remote workstation, so you don't have to sit at your SME box.
To do this, you can use Putty
http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~sgtatham/putty/First you have to tell SME to let you in. To do this, go to the 'remote access' page in server-manager, and, in the Secure Shell Setings section, set
Secure Shell Access = Allow access only from local networks
Allow administrative command line access over secure shell = Yes
Allow secure shell access using standard passwords = Yes
Now you'll be able to connect to and administrate your SME box via the command line from anywhere on your LAN.
Simply double click on Putty, type in the ip of your SME box, and hit OK. You'll be prompted for a Username, so use either 'root' or 'admin' and enter your password. Note: logging in as admin will allow you to run through the initial configuration as you did when you installed SME for the first time.
As for the rest of your query, I can't be much help, though I have succesfully upgraded my PHP using scripts found on this forum.
Sorry if you knew any of this already
All the best,
Andy