Hi Steve,
I am not 100% sure I understand how BT are doing this but if the router is providing IP addresses to the whole LAN then maybe you could add a second NIC in the server and set SME to server/gateway using the dhcp option in the configuration, set SME as the DHCP server, purchase a workgroup switch/hub and plug all the computers on the LAN into the new switch/hub making sure that the DHCP IP range in SME is diiferent from BT's and it should work.
You can then open/forward the ports you require in the BT router to the server.
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It would look something like this:
BT Router connected to NIC 1 with SME in server/gateway (SME will get it's IP address from the router)
NIC 2 will connect SME to the LAN (via a seperate switch/hub)
All PC's will connect to the seperate switch/hub and SME will assign them an IP address. Note: the router and switch/hub are NOT connected.
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I recently helped my mate in the UK with this setup so he could use Sail/Asterisk in sever/gateway mode. (As recommended by jonroberts, thanks jon) his Linksys router allowed us to add the SME server in the DMZ, so all ports are going to it. I hope this helps.
Regards,
Del