It seems that we are talking about two different things here. There are two very different types of VPNs.
Site-to-Site VPNs (for linking two entire subnets)
Client/Host VPNs (For single workstations connecting to a remote subnet)
It seems like indengr is trying to do a site-to-site VPN with his routers.
mary is describing the built in pptp functionality of SME (Client/Host). I am not sure what zatnktel is working on but it seems like he has also switched to working with a client/host type of VPN.
I would leave workgroups and dns out of this at the moment. I know that multiple subnets across VPN work with SME as I use it myself.
1. Build the tunnel in the routers. Make sure it is linked and that you can ping the LAN IP of the routers from both directions.
This must be done from inside each side of the network RDP is your friend2. Test if you can ping the Printer/other device IP addresses from either side of the network. Workstation addresses do not work well for this test as local software firewalls can make it look like the ping is not working but actually it is.
3. Be sure to add the 10.31.55.xx subnet to your Local Networks in Server-Manager on the office SME and 10.31.51.xx on the Home SME here:
http://wiki.contribs.org/SME_Server:Documentation:Administration_Manual:Chapter11#Local_networks4. Test that you can ping the SME IP address from both networks.
5. Test that you can login to server-manager from both locations
using the IP address of the server6. If you can get all of the above working, you should be able to map drives using the IP address of the server. At this point you are ready to start working with DNS if you still want to be able to browse by machine name and workgroup.