tdbsoft
ftp is not secure so don't even consider that if you are talking about a secure connection, plain text passwords are sent etc.
sftp is the only possibility, but that has other issues on sme server that you are not happy with, so forget sftp also.
With VPN, you allow users to have VPN access, so already there is high security.
Users who are not allowed access (the default) cannot even connect via VPN.
Once connected you are part of the local network and have access to shares based on your group membership, you can upload or download files etc.
Do you understand what VPN is ?
The alternative is to create a ssh tunnel using Putty and connect that way.
Search forums etc for tips on doing that.
Not sure if there is a wiki Howto, so look.