To be honest looking at your set up why would you want to have a virtual version of sme to handle mail only.
I think you are making life hard on yourself, you might be better off with your "real" SME Server also handeling your mail
I found that the amount of explicit configuration required by setting up a mail server is quite extensive (users, pop3 accounts, filtering and forwarding rules, etc.). With the SME-in-VM setup I can restart this server on any other computer (Linux or Windows alike) either from backups (in case of a hardware crash of the server) or by copying the VM's files (in case of a major scheduled maintenance action, such as a hardware upgrade).
Which version of vmware are you running ?
I find V2 takes a bit out of life out of a virtual machine..
Yes, I was disappointed by V2 as well. I am using V1 and plan to experiment with VirtualBox (kernel permitting) ...
I find there is always a performance hit of some sort on any virtual machine unless you run a mother of a server.
The performance hit is obvious ... the question is if it is acceptable for a specific application. In my case, I evaluated that since the file server isn't actually doing much, the VM should run pretty smoothly. And that's true most of the time, so I decided I can live with the little performance annoyances.
Last week, however, a friend of mine did an experiment with a new i7 PC: using VirtualBox, he noticed that the boot time of a guest Windows XP that was given access to all the cores was waaay longer than if it was given access to only half of them. And that's how I understood the intensity of the fight for CPU between the guest and the host and I thought about upgrading my CPU to a dual core (while there still are AM2 CPUs out there).